Dear Culinary Backstreets,
I often have to dine with Chinese coworkers at banquets and want to make sure I am not offending anyone. Are there certain dining customs I should adhere to?
China’s dining etiquette is more flexible and forgiving than that of other Asian cultures – like Japan, for instance – but there are a few rules you should know. Most are nonverbal cues that demonstrate respect, especially at work or government banquets.
If you think seating selection at a Western wedding is tough, just wait until you plan a Chinese banquet. The guest of honor – or the most important person at the table, who may not necessarily be the same person – should traditionally sit in a seat that faces east, although it is also common nowadays to have that person looking at the door. The person seated on the honored guest’s left is slightly more important than the guest to the right, but either way, the closer you are seated to the honored guest, the higher your position. If you are seated facing west or with your back to the door, you are considered the least important person at the table.
Take your cues from the guest in the seat of honor, and don’t pick up your chopsticks until he or she starts eating. The host will turn the lazy susan to the honored guest first or serve them to make sure they get the best cuts of meat and the first bits of the fish head, which is considered the best part. When the lazy susan comes to you, do not use your chopsticks to dig through the remaining dish. This is considered “grave digging” and in very poor taste. Also, celebratory meals like weddings should always have an even number of dishes, as an odd number is ordered at funerals to make sure the sad event only comes to pass once.
When you clink glasses with the other guests, make sure your glass is lower than those of higher status than you. Also, when serving tea, make sure to pour into the cups of others before refilling your own glass – or wait until someone fills your cup for you. It is common to tap two fingers on the table to thank whomever refilled your cup. And never clean a plate completely; it’s considered rude to take the last bite of a dish.
Also be careful of where you place your chopsticks. If you stick them into your rice so they stand up straight, it looks like a funeral pyre and symbolizes death. Tapping your chopsticks against the side of your bowl makes you look like a beggar. Toothpicks are quite common at Chinese meals. It’s perfectly acceptable to use them at the table, but make sure to cover your mouth with your hand.
Because meats are often cut without deboning, it’s common to see bones, peels and shells spit directly from the mouth onto the tablecloth, a practice most foreigners find disturbing initially. Slurping is another habit that grates on the nerves of some laowai, but by bringing in the cool air with the hot liquid, Chinese eaters are able to eat while the food’s still hot. However, the rumor that burping at the table is a compliment to the cook is complete hogwash. It’s just as rude in China as it is in the West, but often happens after a few too many rounds of ganbei (“bottoms up!”). – Jamie Barys
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Published on November 26, 2013
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